Batman Vs The Westboro Baptist Church
by Relyks55
Summary: Robin "The Boy Wonder" has died yet again, and Batman mourns his faithful sidekick. Alfred tries to be Batman's new partner and a Bat-Mitzfah follows. "Hilarity" ensues. Caution: Mild cussing, so if you don't want to read no-no words, don't read!


Batman V.S. Westboro Baptist Church

One day, Batman was walking around his batcave when all of a sudden, Alfred the Butler came running down the stairs! "Alfred, why are you running? You are too old to run, you could hurt yourself," Batman said. Then Alfred tripped and broke his nothing. The fact that Alfred broke his Nothing is good because it could've destroyed the fictional land of Fantasia. Alfred took his banana wig off and said to Batface, "Sir, I've gotten the best news I've heard since Playboy For Elders was announced!" "Okay, first of all ew. Second, what is it?" the Bat himself said out loud. "Robin died!" Alfred said with delight as he shook up and down like a little child in a candy factory who gets to have all the free samples he wants. "Al you crazy old coot, that isn't good at all!" Batman said angrily in a wavy voice. "It is for me!" Alf Butlerman said, and he continued, "Now I can be your sidekick right?" "NO!" Batman screamed as he ran upstairs in tears. But he slipped on Alfafa's banananana afro and broke his batsuit in three sizes that day. Sadly, it didn't survive the massive growth and the Grinch sued for copyright. Bruce WY, was caught and thrown in debtors prison for being an overgrown warthog. Alfred got pissed that he had to pay for Robin's child support and bailed BatWayne out. Back in Bruce Lee Wayne's mansion, John Bruce Wayne got ready a new batsuit with extra bat credit cards and batflew his batface batouttahell into his BATMOBILE. Alfred then said, "Bats. Bah humbug!" and died because has anyone ever been so far as to decided to use go want to look more like? Batman was almost late to Ron "Robin" Whizzlemeisters bar mitzvah/funeral because he had to get nachos. Batman is a stinky idontevenfuckingno. Then BarbieMan got to the funeral and then did the Chicken Dance because Gangam Style is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooo overrated I mean srsly right? Everyone applauded and lifted Robboys corpse on a chair and sang Jew songs for his Bat Mitzvah. The songs included, "Oy Vey, This Gafiltefish Is Grand" and "Let's Rob Donald Trumps' Mansion" because Jewish people are cheap according to my sources. I don't know where this story is going, let's look and see what I can find in my head to make this more entertaining… Batfork left and noticed a group of fat, stinky, ugly, homeless people holding signs that said things like "GOTHAM HATES GAYS, AND SPANDEX" and "BATMAN IS A STINKY (I Can't Think of Anything Clever/Original)". Bootman got angst from these signs and started to wail on the stupid protesters. At one point he ripped out one's kidney. I like paste. He cut one protesters hair off with his batnipples of pointiness and what did you expect me to say batarang? Nah, I'd rather say BANGARANG! BANG, SHEW SHEW SHEW CHICKA AWANG. WOKA WOKA WOKA WOKA BANGARANG. BLOOW. Anyways, after his senseless massacre, Batman felt sort of happy. Then Fred Phucks Phelps, leader of the angry protesters came out and spoketh to Batmoonshine. "BARTMAN, WE HATE YOU AND ROBIN AND BUTTLER MAN." Namtab screamed "GO GO GADGET BAT PEPPER SPRAY!" and rapped out Fred Goatfudger Phallus' eyes. "Argle Blargle Chicka Chicka Fuck," and then Phuckhead Phelps died. "HOORAY!" the world shouted, and then Caillou came and wrecked their shit. Batman then flew into space and went to fight off alien squirrels for all of eternity, or at least until he flies into the sun to protect U-gly Saturn, what did you think I was gonna say Uranus? What do you think I am, unoriginal? Then Weird Alfred Butler took a bath in a swimming pool of noodles because HOLY SCHEITZER HE IS A ZOMBIE. Merry Christmas, the end.


End file.
